Sunday, January 2, 2011

Happy New Year

I've been missing for a bit, I know.... been kind of in a funk. Can't quite put my finger on it.

I hope everyone had a fabulous New Year. Ours was low key as usual. I'm not a party girl. Nor do I want to be. I enjoy staying in with the furbabies and watching the marathons on TV. This year was Twilight Zones again. It's been a few years since the Alfred Hitchcok ones. It's time to bring them back.

I Enjoy the feeling of new possibilities and fresh starts the New Year brings with it. I enjoy thinking back over the previous year and being thankful for all we have and all we have accomplished. Times have been difficult but we have made it through another year.

I enjoy daydreaming and thinking of new things I would like to do in the New Year.
Most say I daydream too much. I say those people need to do it a little more
This year I'm going to sew more. More for myself, I think. For someone who spends most of her free time at the sewing machine and craft table, you wouldn't know it if you walked into my front door.
This year I'm going to sew more things I like. I spend a lot of time trying to bring in a little extra money with shows and ebay stuff, that a lot of times, it isn't anything I like. I make things I know other people will like.
This year I won't think so much. I will do more and more on impulse. I spend a lot of time thinking things thru and changing them around only to wind up in the same place I started. I find I am usually right the first time.
My birthday is around the corner too. This year I am going to be 46. I have reached the age, where, I think, I should be past worrying about what the "popular girls" think. I should be comfortable at my own pace without worrying about being late for class. I believe that puberty is such a traumatic experience that you carry this baggage way into life. Don't say you don't know what I'm talking about. So I think 46 is a good number to finally get over it. I'm gonna work on that.
My mother passed away when she was 46. Over the years I mourn off and on. Until now, I never realized just how young she was. At the time you hear people say... oh she was so young or such a loss at such a young age...blah blah blah. It never really sunk in until I woke up one morning and thought...I am going to be 46. I still have so much time.... I don't feel old at all and I have so many dreams and plans for my future. She was so young, indeed.
I miss Doxie. Sounds silly when I just spit it out like that. But I truly miss my friend. I don't think I will ever get over this. It settles in for a bit but then all of a sudden when I'm not thinking about it...WHAM... my heart breaks all over again.
I guess that is all why I'm feeling funky. I don't mean to be depressing. I am very happy. I have a good life. I have people who love me and a roof over my head, food in my kitchen and I can sew stuff whenever I want to. If I forget and need to be pulled back into reality, then I can just go in the living room where there is a teenager sitting on the couch and the smell of him will snap me back into consciousness immediately. At least he is home..... :o)

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